Subscribe
Beat the winter blues (to a bloody pulp)
It’s cold season and I myself have been under the weather. For anyone suffering from the same wintry blues, doctors recommend lots of fluid, rest and vitamin-rich foods – and if you’re looking speed your recovery you can watch the film Goon, the minor-leauge hockey comedy will get your lungs going and loosen the phlegm in your bronchial tubes – though the cough-laughing might annoy the people around you. The benchmark for all hockey-related comedies is Slapshot, and you can think of Goon as a combination of said film and The Passion of the Christ. I would have said 300 but the beating, bludgeoning, slashing, etc. Sean William Scott’s character Doug Glatt endures is pure, bloody torture. Like our Lord and Saviour Dougie sacrifices himself willingly for the greater good, thereby setting an example. But the broken cheek bones and blood stained ice shouldn’t detract from the fact that this films is pretty funny – it’s not very intelligent humour but it has some dandy one-liners. Be it following a brutal rendition of the Canadian national anthem or a dust-up on the ice everyone has got a great quip. My favourite line: “If I want any lip from you I’ll rattle my zipper”, and my favourite sign held by a fan “Glatt is Hebrew for ‘Fuck You’”. It’s dirty, low-brow humour – but it’s also a good look into the the goon business in hockey – something that’s actually been a contentious issue the last few years in professional hockey. It’s got the laughs that The Love Guru should have had – but too many fucks, shits and simulated masturbation to be a Mike Myers film – okay his films have plenty of the latter. Liev Schreiber does a fantastic job and gives the film an interesting edge.
I’ll admit, when I first read the synopsis for this film warning signs starting flashing. The storyline, a poor immigrant from the Paris suburbs takes on a job caring for a wealthy quadriplegic – please. I do not want to see a preachy pity-parade with the standard bromance storyline. I should qualify that statement. I was imagining the typical bromance – I Love You, Man, The Green Hornet, Wedding Crashers, Dinner for Schmucks, etc. – you know, where the two buddies have a falling out but realize there are underlying reasons for their behaviour which they then confront and become great friends again – I imagined that, interspersed with sobby scenes of bleak lives in the ghetto or as being someone severely disabled, playing (or shredding) my heart strings like Eddie van Halen on an Eruption solo – all the while trying to make me laugh. But, at the insistence of colleagues, friends and a the general public at large – I gave it a shot, and thoroughly enjoyed myself. It’s not preachy, it’s not sappy, it’s a break from the standard and just a high quality, enjoyable film – with plenty of laughs. Both of the main actors François Cluzet and Omar Sy are both well cast and play their roles convincingly, the story is that much more heartwarming due to the fact that’s it’s based on a true story. I shouldn’t have been so sceptical at the beginning, I don’t think that a film would become the second highest grossing film of all time in France if it were as bad as I’d imagined, but then again those Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer keep making movies (and money). 
I love political thrillers. Well in this case, “thriller” is being a bit generous, it’s more of a drama, the numerous shots of Sean Penn and Naomi Watts watching news clips in airports isn’t exactly edge of your seat action and suspense. Not to sell this film short, Valeria Plame is quite the femme fatale. Watching the film a had a lot more respect for her service and realized how badly the Government screwed her over. This film does a good job of covering all the bases and clears up a lot of the misconceptions about the scandal. For those who don’t know, Valerie Plame was an undercover CIA agent with a husband who was a former Ambassador to Niger. She suggested he be sent to investigate the possible sale of yellow cake to Saddam Hussein. He didn’t find anything but his visit and report were still used as a pretext for war with Iraq and when he realized what had happened he wrote an op-ed column and became one of the first to speak out against the case for war, in realiation, White House staffer Scooter Libby outed his wife as an agent publicly, endangering her contacts, operations and ending her career. As I said it is a political drama with many intricacies, and not so much action, but it is nonetheless a very compelling story, it also shows what a difference the media makes in todays politics. I was initially skeptical, given Sean Penn’s outspoken stance against the war in Iraq, but the film is very fair and balanced, not pushing an agenda but presenting all the angles. It was argued that Joe Wilson’s media campaign was shameless self-promotion, it’s not presented as such but the film is smart in showing lecture halls before and after his media exposure and Ambassador Wilson is obviously and understandably invigorated by his new found fame. His career, even facing off against Saddam Hussein before the first Gulf war, was very distinguished but not recognized or celebrated. If you’re into politics, political thrillers or anything definitely see this movie. It’s full of intrigue and personal drama, and offers an initmate look into the personal struggles of two people caught in the crosshairs of the media and government. What the White House and CIA did to one of their own is simply deplorable. It’s both agrivating and fascinating, it’s amazing how two people, a married couple, with the husband not knowing much about his wife’s work, were both such central figures in the lead up to the war in Iraq. I do however have one beef with the producers, and with the CIA, as a Canadian I’m tired of American spies using our nationality as cover, in Syriana, Mission: Impossible, and in this film. American tourists looking for a better reception overseas by sewing maple leaves on their backpacks is one thing, but spooks using our good name can have serious ramifications – Canadians travelling abroad might find themselves being taken away by immigration officials for a little chat more frequently, for instance. Thanks Hollywood, and the CIA. Then again that’s the only cover one could easily take, they’re not going to pass for Tibetan Monks, per se.
For anyone excited to see Sean Bean once again don the chain mail in a medieval adventure film à la Lord of the Rings, be warned that his isn’t the adventure film you might expect, and his character Ulric is a litte more burdened, or haunted, than Boromir. A monk (Eddie Redmayne) volunteers to help Ulric and his motley crew of warriors find a village unscathed by the Bubonic plague. There is rumour of hedonism and a necromancer, capable of bringing the dead back to life – obviously the Bishop can’t have any of that, and it’s off with his head! Well, actually, they brought a contraption that will slice a man “from his asshole to his apple,” but you get the idea. When they finally reach the small Jonestown like village, they don’t come out with all guns blazing. In fact what appears a dark and spooky adventure film turns end up as more of a horror flick and religious polemic – instead of a final battle it’s a series of tortures interspersed with an existential debate about God. I still enjoyed it – I’ll watch a sabred Sean Bean kick ass and take names any day.
On a very successful promotional tour, director, writer and star Stallone stepped in for Jason Statham when the latter was asked to freestyle, without missing a beat he let out „Rap, rap, rap so fine, miss a word, and your little ass is mine,” to the beatboxing being performed by audience member or “jorunalist”. I myself was on the road for a couple weeks and while you try to make the most of your time, beating the pavement across Hell’s half acres looking at all the sights and going out at night can get tiring. Since we were in Berlin I figured we’d relax and take in a film at the Sony Center, at Potsdamer Platz – a sweet ass place to catch a flick. As luck would have it a movie of purportedly equal epicness was opening that week, The Expendables. It just so happens that Berlin is the same location where Stallone had been answering questions, busting rhymes, and passing wisdom about the movie making business, “It’s never about beauty. It’s about soul.” Indeed, Sly was spitting the truth everywhere he went, but it’s not like he needed to create buzz for this film, the list of cast members alone would have been enough to carry this film. Nevertheless the hype was palpable, and I couldn’t help but get excited to see this film. Nestled into reserved seats with a cold beer, the opening scene explored a modern problem – a hostage situation in the Gulf of Aden – and we were off to a good start. Even Lundgren’s “warning shot” which separated the ring leader’s upper body from lower mixed some laughter into the bullet maelstrom (Not a single hostage hit, really?). But from there on the story is really, well, old hat. I understand this film was meant to pay homage to action movies of previous decades, ones made without CGI and capes, but the story is run-of-the-mill, and may have otherwise gone straight to DVD. The dictator and his cocaine-financed banana republic, the bad white guy pulling the strings, the ex-teammate turned traitor. The notion is good but the delivery is at times almost cheesey which makes it more cliché than classic. Having said that, it’s not like I didn’t enjoy this film, good cameos, an unbelievable scene with Mickey Rourke, explosions and some of my favourite action stars make for good movie watching. Sly’s passion and wisdom when speaking about it made me want to like it more than I did, it just wasn’t as crazy or funny as it could have been. But, reviews don’t determine box offixe numbers, as is often the case (and almost always the case when it comes to 
If Only It Were Fiction…
It has all the makings of a good political thriller, and a tragic comedy, but unfortunately the characters and plot of Inside Job are all real. I think the largest challenge a filmmaker tackling an actual political scandal has, is parsing a great deal of information into a concise narrative that’s true to the story while entertaining at once. Take the Valerie Plame affair for instance, the film Fair Game has a lot of ground to cover and I can remeber having a hard time following all the developments in that story as it was happening at the time. You need to be a professional news watcher to pick up on all the twists, turns, escalations and falsehoods. But that story was neatly cut down to a digestable size. But that was the White House against Joe Wilson and his wife, try a global financial crisis – you need an ensemble cast and a mini-series of HBO proportions to cover that, right? Wrong. Charles Ferguson can cover all the bases in just over two hours, in a sleek and entertaining look at the biggest clusterfuck in financial history. As Dane Cook would say, it’s not a candy bar (full of peanuts and fuck). Unfortunately you have to use this language, because your blood does boil after watching this film. It’s essentially a tale of how wonton greed and corruption on Wall Street put the world into an economic tailspin not seen since the Great Depression. I’m no financial historian, but I do have an interest in the subject and I know that Niall Ferguson would argue in favour of financial innovation. After all it was and is “an indispensable factor in man’s advance from wretched subsistence to the giddy heights of material prosperity that so many people know today.” In the same article the author goes on to write that “Perhaps, too, it will be a financial crisis that signals the twilight of American global primacy.” One way or the other, this film will help you get a grip on what caused financial innovation to turn into the bum’s rush. The creators of this film spent a lot of time doing research for this film and the numbers presented are staggering. What would otherwise read or look like an unending heap of statistics becomes a concise narrative, showing where things went wrong, who was caught sleeping and why the system doesn’t work. Forget 3D, presenting statistics and a series specialists explaining in great detail how we, the taxpayers, got royally screwed over by a bunch of cocaine-snorting, prostitute-banging bunch of snake-oil salesmen in a throroughly entertaining manner is truly the greatest feat of modern cinema. Okay, so I tend toward hyperbole, but in all honesty it is truly praiseworthy, how this film tackles such a broad issue in a slick, panoramic fashion – with sweeping shots of the world, from Iceland to New York – peperred with interviews, and non-interviews. That is what is most frustrating: the fact that many of those responsible refused to appear on camera, and the few who did, should have elected for that route as well, for their own sake. No advocae of deregulation can stand for his opinion, and those asked as to their incentives get immediately agressive, like Columbia Dean of the Graduate School for Business, Glenn Hubbard. Even staunch supporters of Obama, like Matt Damon, agree that the guys and gals who got us in this mess, shouldn’t be the ones who get us out. There needs to be accountability, somebody has to pay. Watch it, and do something about it.