SubscribeIf you browse around on the net and look for a list of the best poker movies, you’ll find that everyone has a different list. Most contain the classics like The Sting, The Cincinatti Kid and Maverick which are well-known. Those films and the others occupying the top ten are often a little dated, I was very surprised to see Rounders so low on so many people’s lists, in one case only receiving an honourable mention (take a hike). The film is a touchstone in the genre, for me at least. Perhaps it is a generational thing but that film is and was amongst my friends the most quoted at the table – the classic lines being “Sorry John, I don’t remember” after a player has folded and wants to know if you “had it” or of course there is “In my club, I will splash the pot whenever the fuck I please” in the requisite Russian accent. Casino Royale is second on my list and I was surprised to see it (or not see it) on other people’s lists. It plays a major role in the story of the first film of the Bond reboot and has incredibly high stakes, and plenty of twists and turns. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels has to be up there as well, although there is little table action, poker is central to the story. I suppose the latter films don’t qualify as strict “poker films”, but if you take a look at the poker-centric flicks of late you get an idea as to why the top ten is so often dominated by older films. Lucky You came out in 2007 and starred Eric Bana and Drew Barrymore, it was a commercial disaster but garnered praise for it’s realistic depiction of the poker circuit. Similarly the film The Grand is a film touted by insiders but not popular among critics. The film Deal, starring Burt Reynolds and also featuring a number of real poker personalities was a flop. Often the game plays a supporting role in the overall plot, the title character in Michael Clayton goes gambling in the seedy New York underground; the story in the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin kicks off at a poker game as well – fine, hardly a poker movie but it shows that the card game is a fixture in popular culture and serves perhaps better in a supporting role in film. It all makes sense, a lot of people enjoy this game, it’s great amongst friends and some people even make a decent go of it online – I’ve heard stories of online players earning enough to live off, playing poker on PokerStars. Depending on your poker face you might find it easier or harder to bluff online, which is too bad because “sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand.”
First Birthday
“You forgot your birthday again Frank.” Classic line from Old School – click here for the clip. Well, so a year passing isn’t such a big deal for a blog but still it’s nice to say that after after more than 365 days and over 70 posts this train is still chugging along. Admittedly the articles do tend to vary in length and depth, depending on my work schedule. Nevertheless there has been a lot of traffic on the site and a good deal of interaction and it’s nice to reflect on that. But more than anything, I just wanted an excuse to link to that clip. Image by © Jörg Siebauer / PIXELIO.
Hobbit Racism Row
This story broke back in November, but I think it’s worth mentioning on the heels of last weeks article about the casting call for The Hobbit. Reading people’s reactions I realized that either I’m crazy, or they’re crazy. But let’s back track, for those who don’t know, a casting director put an ad in the paper looking for fair-skinned, stout people to be extras in the Hobbit. A British woman of Pakastani origin, after waiting for three hours, was turned away by the “rogue” director for being too dark. The director was canned and Jackson offered an apology, saying no such instructions were given. Problem solved. But as I mentioned, reading the response on the web I noticed a lot of fantasy fans have got their breeches in a bind over a lack of diversity on the set, some even decrying Hollywood as a bastion of racism. Please. As one user put it, let’s not make a mountain out of a hobbit hole. First off, I don’t think this casting agent should have been fired, alright her methods might lack tact, and it certainly doesn’t read well in the press, but if she’d shown up on set with a group of extras covering all the colours of the rainbow she would have been sacked as well, less publicy. Let’s see what Jackson’s Shire looks like this time ’round. But besides, what’s the problem with defining skin colour in a casting call if people can be chosen based on height, weight, gender and other characteristics. If it were otherwise anyone could apply for any role and claim discrimination when not given the part. I wonder if the same hands around the world group would carry the torch when Reese Witherspoon get’s turned down for the role of Shaft.
Pipe Down! Chatter in Theatres Contributes to Global Warming
This article was originally planned to be a review of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I, but I made a big mistake and saw it in a theatre here in Germany. It has nothing to do with the facility – the cinema I was at is top-notch, rather the moviegoing culture, specifically the high tolerance of chatter. Granted, regardless of what country you’re in you’re liable to get a few jackasses who think they’re enriching the viewing experience what with their hilarious comments and fake laughter – I don’t even consider myself that sensitive, but the blokes beside my girlfriend and I, five teenagers with little to no interest in the film, rotated between scathing commentary and showing eachother text messages. They were just being assholes, treating the movie like a football game and the theatre like their living room. Not five minutes in a fellow patron asked if they’d could be a little quieter, five minutes later I asked them to stop talking altogether, less politely. But, it wasn’t long before they started up again and like trying to fall asleep while ignoring a person who is snoring, it doesn’t work. So for almost the entire two and a half hours I was distracted by theses Chatty Cathys, what with their knee-slapping jokes and put on laughter, and even the odd spoiler or two. I might have asked again, but that would have just made me more upset once they went on talking – besides, they weren’t the only loudmouths, in other rows people were talking and with this general acceptance it’s hard to impress upon people the fact that they’re being extremely rude and inconsiderate.
I think what really got my blood boiling was their whole attitude, a row of pubescent clones with poser haircuts and skin-tight jeans. It was Saturday night, haven’t you got something better to do than to pay the premium rate for a film you just want to carve up. Get a life. If you do this you’re not funny, no one is impressed – you’re a loser. The kicker is we were initially supposed to sit somewhere else. The theatre has reserved seating and for those willing to hit redial thirty or fourty times, well they get prime seats. We went straight to the theatre a few hours early and got tickets for the fourth row, all the way to the side. Of course, the people who reserved have the best seats but don’t show, or show up to late, and I went back shortly before showtime and switched. I would much rather have had a stiff neck than shortened nerves, but c’est la vie. It’s a troubling trend in society that jokers, ruffians and the like are driving people out of public places – like the subway and theatres – and into the comfort and safety of their own spaces. Which is a shame, it’s not only wasteful, what with an SUV for each family unit, but in the case of films, a less enjoyable experience. Most of us don’t go to the theatre just for the big screen and big sound, but for the atmosphere – a roaring comedy or a tense thriller, where you can feel the electricity in the air and share the experience.
Now, were this a film review I might have told you that there is almost too much talent in the supporting cast, and as a result there are a ton of actors who I would like to have seen more of. I might have mentioned the dizzying, Greengrass-esque pursuit through the woods, but all I remember is a bunch of metrosexual twits and their cell phones who are contributing to the increasing individualization of society, and global warming as a result. Not to mention child labour, stringing together their nuthugger jeans for pennies an hour. So do us a favour, grow up – and please put a sock in it, pipe down and shut your goddamn mouth.
Gangster Number One
Back in 2005 the movie Layer Cake made a sleek, modern addition the British gangster crime/comedy thriller genre. Despite some time required on urban dictionary it quickly became on of my favourite films of all time. The soundtrack was bang on, the story intricate à la Lock, Stock and the cinematics slick and cool like Inception. Back to front a solid flick. But until RocknRolla came out, anyone looking for more intricate plots and violence with comedic overtones was forced to work backwards in time. Guy Ritchie is perhaps the best known writer and director who brought the aforementioned Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels – a must see, as well as Snatch. Layer Cake was directed by Mathew Vaughn who produced the two films with Ritchie. But anyone looking along these lines will find Paul McGuigan’s Gangster No. 1, a film released five years earlier and featuring many familiar faces. Malcolm McDowell and Paul Bettany take turns fleshing out a MacBeth-like usurper to the upper echelons of the underworld in London. His yappy Brit take, and in particular the opening of the film, is absolutely brilliant. Paul Bettany on the other hand is less funny and more of a psychopath, taking the other main ingredient in these thrillers, violence, to a whole new level. Unfortunately that aspect doesn’t add much to the experience, but it is a good, entertaining story none the less. The familiar faces are Jamie Foreman who played “The Duke” in Layer Cake and Lennie Taylor in this film. Kenneth Cranham who plays a more subservient role in Gangster, gets a promotion and acts as in a more important role as crime boss Jimmy Price in Layer Cake. In both films the main character remains unnamed, an interesting characteristic you might not even pick up on, unless the fourth wall is broken, even slightly, but Gangster is a deviation in that the boss ends up (spoiler!) killing himself at the end, rather than sharing the fate of most film, television (and often real life) gangsters in getting killed or ending up in prison.
John Malkovich Appreciation Month
October is John Malkovich appreciation month! The decision was made after reading the list of his top 10 movies on Rotten Tomatoes, and realizing I’ve only seen 2 of the 10 films featured in the article. For some reason The Killing Fields is listed there, his role in this film is very minor, but the rest like In the Line of Fire, Empire of the Sun, Dangerous Liasons, etc. are all stellar. Despite being a very versatile actor, he is simply fit for the role of the villain – he would have been perfect as the Vulture for Spider-Man. Regardless, the best has been saved for last, Being John Malkovich should be the highlight, but over his long career of 70 some-odd films and mini series you could easily make it the Year of the Malkovich.
The Social Network, Nolan's Inception & More
After a number of weekends on the road I needed spend a day horizontal in front of the TV. I would have gone to the threatre but The Social Network doesn’t open in Germany until the 7th, alas I was left to catch up on some movie watching – although I ended up with a longer list than what I started with (see the previous article about film finders). I finally saw Robin Hood, and I didn’t think it was as bad as some critics, agreed the film occupies an odd place between history and legend, but it was very enjoyable and top Scott-quality. I also watched An Education, not normally my kind of movie, a little slow moving but with superb acting by Alfred Molina and Carey Mulligan. I watched Archangel and Inception, again. I was planning on watching it all the way through, I just wanted to download it (I paid to see it once and will definitely be buying the DVD) and got hooked into the story once again – which has happened before, with Jaws for one. Indeed, Nolan said in an interview with a member of the Canadian press that this film will probably leave audiences with ideas to rattle around inside their brains (at the end of the clip) and I will admit that Nolan#s inception was successful, after a second run through I’m no where closer to knowing whether or not he was dreaming the whole time, or as some suggest, that Dom was incepted to get over the guilt for the death of his wife, but was once again blown away by the film. For those looing for the answer, there is a site devoted to it: Inception Theories. It’s more likely that it’s intentionally ambiguous, but maybe there is an answer.
Similar Film Finder – Stop Search and Start Finding
Most movie fans will admit to having spent way too much time at the video store or online looking for a good film they’d like to watch (and that they haven’t seen already). Often times you’ve just seen a wicked movie and loved something about it and would like to see more set in that time, place, or with a similar plot – but despite Hollywood’s best efforts, not every good film gets a sequel, a trilogy, or quadrilogy for that matter. Sequels aside, there is an answer for anyone looking for more cinematic experiences, and it’s a similar film finder, or taste engine. My list of movies to watch is quite long, but I made the mistake of hopping on Jinni.com and I ended up with a slew of films I’d now like to watch. There are a few ways to go about finding a recommendation, but essentially you descrive those aspects you’re looking for, from time and place to plot and mood. The other more traditional way is looking for films similar to one you like. Unlike Amazon or IMDB these are good recommendations, even it means the films are a bit older or in a foreign language. You’re certain to find hidden gems, I discovered Archangel, a BBC adaptation of a Robert Harris novel, a great writer of political thrillers. Interesting note: One of the characters is seen reading another political thriller by author Frederick Forsyth, also dealing with post-Communist Russia. In any event, use the finder, but be warned, you might go from being stuck finding something to watch to having a great of homework. Enjoy.
"Mein Führer, I can walk!"
Stephen Colbert is the man. On his show The Colbert Report (-ert and -ort both spoken softly) last week, he proposed a kind of Mutually Assured Destruction as a possible solution to the Ground Zero Mosque quagmire while paying homage to Peter Sellers and Dr. Strangelove. I was simply blown away. If you haven’t seen the movie watch the best two parts where Peter Sellers is acting as Dr. Strangelove, a scientist and former Nazi as he explains The Doomsday machine or his plans for the Apocalypse. It’s absolutely genious. Here you can watch Colbert’s whole edition of “The Word,” where he explains in character how a deterrent to Muslims building a moque near the site of the 9/11 attacks in New York would work. Another comedian, Pat Condell is more direct and less sly, but just as biting in his criticism – though the bit about the Mosque opening on Sept. 11, 2011, which isn’t true, apparently. But whatever your political leanings you have to enjoy the Colbert.
NME’s Short Schrift for This Modern Glitch
Again I hate to deviate from the world of film, but I just couldn’t get over Barry Nicolson’s review of the new Wombat’s album. You don’t have to read it, it’s short schrift to what is, in my opinion, a great album. You can dislike an album, but don’t base your opinion on your own predisposition. If you boil down the the piece and take out all the insults, there’s really no content left. People read reviews, perhaps for entertainment, but mostly so they can find out whether or not to invest their time and money in something. Now, after spending a combined 14 hours on transatlantic flights and being forced to watch heavily-edited, family-friendly movies I can understand the desire to carpet bomb certain pieces of work. But let’s be honest, This Modern Glitch is not the musical equivalent of Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son. I can also understand prejudice, I think it’s unlikely that that Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer will ever produce anything worth watching, but then again we’re not talking about the musical stylings of David Hasselhoff, either. My point is, they deserve a decent review, not one that is simpls dismissive. But the language tops the tone, what with the combination of two ower-used clichés (“guilty pleasure du jour”) and an obscure analogy, “nightwatchmen at the indie landfill.” What the fuck does that mean? Do you mean they applied for a shitty position in an already crappy organization – I can’t imagine a dump with more garbage than NME, imagine working there.
In douchebaggy scene-talk one might write: Nicolson’s tour de force is a puke-inducing, mud-slinging crapfest which will certainly one day feature in his published magnum opus of assorted reviews and tweets, soon to be found in the discount bin at your local book store.